Dear eBay Customers

[valis2]

• Dear Mr. Impatient: I know it's hard to believe, but I do not, in actuality, sit at my computer 24/7 and wait for customers to leave me feedback so that I can respond in kind. I leave feedback once every other week, after the majority of people have paid, so that I can do all 100 to 150 pieces of feedback at the same time. Some customers, in fact, never leave me feedback, so I don't rely on them to decide when to respond. Anyone who pays me receives positive feedback. Period. Makes my life easier.


• Dear Mr. Trying-to-get-a-deal: No, I will not end the auction early so that you can buy this item for a ridiculously low sum, when you and I both know that it will fetch far more on the last day. Yes, I do, in fact, know how to end an auction early. But I'm not going to.


• Dear Mr. Threatening: I dislike you, and your wife, and I resent the implication that you have so snidely suggested. I do not, in fact, log onto eBay as four different IDs, and then proceed to drive up the prices of every item I have on auction. Honestly, I don't have the time, nor the poor grasp of ethics, to be engaging in such behaviour. Oh, you've just realized it was someone else entirely? Someone else who disliked you intensely? What a surprise. No, I will not give you a discount on shipping because we happen to inhabit the same state.


• Dear Ms. Impossible-to-understand: I gave you a terrific deal. And threw in extra merchandise to boot. And then charged you substantially less than it actually cost to ship it to Japan. I will send you replacement goods for the items you claim were "broken," and I will send you the items you purchased this week in the same box, but I will definitely charge you the difference on shipping for the first package. I do not appreciate the incomprehensible emails, the drain on my time, nor the (quite frankly) bizarre notion that you do not own any sort of camera whatsoever. Not even on your phone. I thought you lived in Tokyo! No one you know has a camera? I find that hard to believe. I really, really, really hope that we shall never do business together again.


• Dear Ms. Exuberant: Your feedback was short and to the point, if a bit hyperbolic. Please keep in mind that while I retain the utmost respect and gratitude for the easy business transaction we shared, I do not, in fact, love you in return. But I appreciate the sentiment very much, as it lifted my spirits, and continues to do so.

Comments

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the entertainment. This was great. Sounds exhausting to deal with though.

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

I loved these. I am glad you finally got somewhere with Impossible-to-Understand. Maybe she'll buy this from you and that is it.

Once I saw that "Doctor Jones, there is nothing you can possess that I cannot take away" quote left as positive feedback. I thought it was funny, but not helpful to future buyers.

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

100 - 150 pieces of feedback at a time? omg. That would suck.

And can't you just ban Ms.Impossible to Understand from bidding at all? Seems like I remember hearing once that there was a setting where you keep people from bidding on your auctions. She honestly doesn't sound worth the effort - especially as she has to be lying at the 'I have access whatsoever to any kind of camera' business.

[lewlinx.livejournal.com]

Oh dear...your customers really need to calm down. Muggles! I really dont understand why people think the rest of the world does not have a life and is just iddly waiting for them. tsk tsk tsk...I can go Bella on some if you want, I am sure a few well chosen crucio! here and there would get the point accross. What do you say? ;)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Every week it's something new and bizarre! *laughs*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm all done with the Japan transaction! I never did get anyone to translate, so I had to muddle through on my own. But now it's done, and I'm about even in the profit department...at least I didn't lose money, that's what I think.

I once received this feedback for selling a Thomas Covenant book:

"Don't have time to comment, am leaving for The Land."

I've never read the Cov books, so I was pretty lost, though I eventually figured out that it had something to do with the books. *rolls eyes*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a lot of feedback. Thank goodness for the happy and wondrous firefox, which fills in most of the info for me. Still, it's a pain.

Yes, after that camera bullshit I was really ready to smash things. I asked her for pictures of the broken items. Then she claimed she had no camera. WTF?! I swear, that made me crazy.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

bwahahaha! I would sorely love to see some Bella fireworks, oh yes. Especially for Mr. Threatening. He ruined a weekend for me. What an ass! He was so rude and ridiculous.

*hugs*

[saridout.livejournal.com]

it took me about 2 dozen transactions to figure out i HATE EBAY.

[rickfan37.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether ot laugh or shake my head in disbelief! A bit of both, I think!

[rickfan37.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! That is actually a pretty funny comment, speaking as a Covenant aficionado. ;-)

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

Tee hee hee! I'm glad you didn't lose money, at least. It's always disheartening to actually lose money when the point is quite the opposite!

[bell-witch.livejournal.com]

Icon for your difficult customers.

I haven't done e-bay in a while but I've never had those problems. Granted, I had never intended to sell outside the US but that ended on my first auction. Sell manga and people outside the US want it. Japanese comics in English to a guy in Brazil. But I didn't deal with anyone like you have.

Wow. People are intensely scumbag-esque and it should not surprise me. I can believe the no camera thing because I know people without. And I've dealt with looks before when they saw my old camera--a Pentax. OMG that's so huge! (They have microscopic digital camera.) I have digital now, which takes much crappier pix but would work fine for e-bay purposes.

Whatever you have, whatever you do, there will be people who complain. I'm sorry about that, though I hope it was helpful to write this post. Makes me want to go out and kick asses. I think it's a sign of the times but hard to guess the ages of these people. I don't treat people like that and likely you don't either or it wouldn't surprise you that they are such jerks. Not even over the relative anonymity of the internet am I so rude. Good luck on future transactions and I do hope you can ban people from your auctions. Even with my limited e-bay experience I do think you can.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! It was totally inexplicable to me, I'm afraid. I found another Cov book and read the dust jacket, and that's where I found the reference, and it made a little more sense. ;)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I know! I'm such a softie...I always start the auctions at a very low price to entice people...but then a lot of people wait until the last possible second and purchase it at the very low price, which means that on some sales I'm actually losing 10 or 20 cents. That's why I always keep the shipping at about $2, so I can make 30 or 40 cents per package for handling, even though most packages cost me $1.11 or $1.35 to ship. Thank goodness for that, or I'd really be losing my shirt.

The people who really help me out are the people who bid early. They really make the item(s) look more enticing. Also, the people who get into bidding wars make it all worthwhile.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hahahah!!!

Only too true. 95% of the transactions are completely inoffensive. 5% make me want to rip my hair out.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! In the end, I have to try to wash my hands of it and just relax and laugh about it. It's hard, though, especially while it's happening.

Whenever something stupid/evil happens on eBay, I spend the day in a total funk. :(

[valis2.livejournal.com]

My profile specifically says US only, but I continually get requests from people in other countries, and I do make exceptions for anyone who asks. It causes some trouble occasionally, but overall it's been fairly pleasant.

As far as the camera...well, this went on for weeks, and the thing is...SHE may not have had a camera, but I can't imagine that she didn't know a SINGLE person who had one and would help her out. Seriously.

I haven't banned anyone yet, but I have definitely thought about it.

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

I usually try and bid when I first see stuff, because I've forgotten too many times. I put in the highest I'm willing to go, and if someone outbids me that's fine. But waiting until the last minute never works for me. Who can keep up with those schedules?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Who can keep up with those schedules?

Oh, you'd be surprised. *laughs*

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, the idea of that is distressing. lol People are crazy. I understand as a seller being aware of ends of auctions, but as a buyer? Eh.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Some buyers actually have bots that watch the listings and bid for them. They set limits and let it go.

EBay is serious bizness, y'all.

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

Weird! I should take a look at these bots. lol

[rickfan37.livejournal.com]

BTW, I think you'll like my latest post... ;-)