Torture!

[valis2]

You know, there's this roller-coaster which always accompanies writing (for me)...it's this continual movement, up and down, and it's even worse when I'm writing something like an exchange fic.

I'm working on the snupin fic, which is coming together very nicely (joy), and I am feeling all of these things concurrently, which is making my head spin:

• The recipient is going to hate it. I don't think this is what they were looking for.


• I am having the time of my life writing this. I can't imagine a more perfect scenario for me to write.


• I've bitten off way more than I should have. I'm glad that I'm flexible, and was able to rearrange things.


• I adore this fic.


• No one will understand this fic except for me, and one other person in the fandom who I know, for certain, shares this interest.


• I really love this fic.


• It's not going to receive any comments because no one's going to read it because it's such a bizarre niche-fic.


• I can't wait to finish this fic, yet I know I'm going to be sad when it's over, because I am really enjoying it.


• It's so utilitarian. I must embellish it. But if I embellish it too much, it'll be too much. Maybe I should leave it stripped down. Or maybe I should embellish it.


• No one is going to like this. They're going to get one paragraph into it and throw up their hands in despair.


• I am so very much hoping that odddollsstories thinks it's decent.


• I think I will actually be very, very happy with this fic, as long as the recipient likes it. If they don't, I'm going to be so very sad for ruining someone's fic exchange experience.

What's Ron's quote? "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode?" Heh.

Seriously, all of these thoughts have gone through my head today, sometimes all at the same time.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_vocalion_/]

I've entered a couple of writing challenges, but never a fic exchange. I don't think I could string one sentence together if I were writing to please the recipient instead of myself. It's more important that you love it rather than the recipient, so if the process is giving you pleasure, that means there must be something there that's good! It would be worse if you were struggling and couldn't come up with anything to write. I don't belong to any fic exchange communities so I haven't read the threads, but surely no one would be rude enough to tell the author their story was disappointing or not what they expected. Worrying over what you've written is the most stressful part, I think. Once it's posted, I'm sure it will be well received. Most of the writers in the fandom are lovely people. I've come across very few shitheads. (Sorry, but it's time to cook dinner and I don't have time to find a more elegant synonym.)

Good luck with your fic! :-)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

When I look at it rationally, I think many of the thoughts that you've so kindly outlined here.

Then the primal self-conscious takes over, and I'm completely undone.

This is why I only write one exchange fic during the season. It's too stressful! The writing isn't even the worst part...it's the worrying. I'm fairly certain that the person in question will politely compliment it, but I'm just afraid that they'll hate it in private. :( I just have to take that risk, I think, which is the whole point. I'm having a blast, it's slowly progressing (I'm hoping to be done by tomorrow, and have it off to the betas), and I've done my best.

whew! Thanks for the kind words.