Torture!

[valis2]

You know, there's this roller-coaster which always accompanies writing (for me)...it's this continual movement, up and down, and it's even worse when I'm writing something like an exchange fic.

I'm working on the snupin fic, which is coming together very nicely (joy), and I am feeling all of these things concurrently, which is making my head spin:

• The recipient is going to hate it. I don't think this is what they were looking for.


• I am having the time of my life writing this. I can't imagine a more perfect scenario for me to write.


• I've bitten off way more than I should have. I'm glad that I'm flexible, and was able to rearrange things.


• I adore this fic.


• No one will understand this fic except for me, and one other person in the fandom who I know, for certain, shares this interest.


• I really love this fic.


• It's not going to receive any comments because no one's going to read it because it's such a bizarre niche-fic.


• I can't wait to finish this fic, yet I know I'm going to be sad when it's over, because I am really enjoying it.


• It's so utilitarian. I must embellish it. But if I embellish it too much, it'll be too much. Maybe I should leave it stripped down. Or maybe I should embellish it.


• No one is going to like this. They're going to get one paragraph into it and throw up their hands in despair.


• I am so very much hoping that odddollsstories thinks it's decent.


• I think I will actually be very, very happy with this fic, as long as the recipient likes it. If they don't, I'm going to be so very sad for ruining someone's fic exchange experience.

What's Ron's quote? "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode?" Heh.

Seriously, all of these thoughts have gone through my head today, sometimes all at the same time.

Comments

[snegurochka_lee]

Aw! I'm just so glad you're doing snupin_santa!

Don't worry. If it's a good fic that you enjoyed writing and put effort into, then that's all you can do. If your recipient hates it? Well... eff them, to be honest. I've never quite understood wanky posts I've seen about a recipient not liking their story. If they wanted something super specific, they can write it themselves, IMO. The fun of the exchange is throwing yourself out there and asking for a gift; after that, you gotta be a bit flexible about what you get. Like any gift, right? If I ask for an iPod and get a waffle iron instead? I'm still pretty excited, because hey, someone bothered to get me a gift!

Also? If no one is reading yours, come over and cry with me because no one is going to read mine, either. For various undisclosed reasons. ;)

[/rambling]

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. If it's a good fic that you enjoyed writing and put effort into, then that's all you can do.

Those are such wise words, seriously, but my brain is too far into self-induced panic mode to actually hear them. wah!

I am totally emo!valis about this entire thing, I know, I know.

I am sensitive about the whole nature of the exchange, and it's because I'm like that in RL too; I am absolutely a stickler for getting appropriate gifts. I put a lot of time and effort into getting the right things for people, and if I receive something insane in return, I'm sad. Honestly, I had a friend once who would buy the weirdest things for me (Empress Barbie, and a Daisy/Donald Duck on a gondola Christmas ornament (I don't even have a Christmas tree), ugh), and later I figured out that some of the things were things she had impulsively bought for herself but didn't want to get into trouble with her husband so she gave them away.

Anyway, I'm really a bit crazed about gifts; if there's no thought behind it, I'd rather get absolutely nothing, honestly. I'm leery of a lot of consumer culture. I hate things that end up in landfills or I have to sell on eBay because I would never use them in a million years.

Okay, I'm evil, I admit it. heh.

Also? If no one is reading yours, come over and cry with me because no one is going to read mine, either. For various undisclosed reasons. ;)

Oh, thank goodness someone has the same thoughts. I am so glad you understand what I'm feeling here. I mean, seriously, I know that people adore Snupin and I will probably get more comments than if I had written for some other pairing, but still, I just know that it's so...out there that it will most likely receive the WTF award for 2006.