Gah.

[valis2]

Message from clueless eBayer to me:

It has been a month now since I purchased the velvet beret style hat and the legwarmers. I am curious as to whether you have shipped them or not. If I haven't heard from you within a week from today, I will be forced to open a dispute. I don't like to do these things but It has been a month. Your ebay ad states to allow 2-3 weeks for custom make and delivery, however, you didn't even contact me back when I asked you a question. Please message me back with a tracking number or an explaination as to where my purchases stand in the process.
Thank You.

Dear Clueless eBayer:

I do not sell clothing from this account, I sell [craft], hence my eBay nom de plume valis[craft]. (Yes, I'm aware that is a very small point to make, because there are many cross-specialty eBay sellers.) Be that as it may, even if I were to do so, I would not be making anything from velvet. Especially not berets and legwarmers.

You may have forgotten but you actually purchased [craft] from me last week. Not a beret made to order. Not legwarmers made to order.

You have already received your purchase from me, as I am speedy beyond belief, and if you give me a negative because you can't tell me apart from a crazy custom velvet garment maker, I will be very put out.

You haven't responded to my patient but witty email explaining that I am not the droid you're looking for, and I find myself growing more and more certain that the dread Negative Feedback finger is pointing my way.

No love,

valis

Comments

[sylvadin.livejournal.com]

Lovely comback.

Now, are you *actually* going to send it?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

haha! Oh no, of course not. This was my Spleen Venting Comeback. The real reply was much more charming. ;)

[todayiamadaisy]

I would not be making anything from velvet. Especially not berets and legwarmers.

Oh, go on - tap into that lucrative velvet legwarmer market! :-)

I'm also intrigued that she bought a "beret style hat". What is a beret-style hat exactly, if not a beret?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, go on - tap into that lucrative velvet legwarmer market! :-)

Yes, all three of those customers are so very supportive! hee!

I'm also intrigued that she bought a "beret style hat". What is a beret-style hat exactly, if not a beret?

Now that is a good question.

[artystone.livejournal.com]

See now I'm so stalkerish I'd have clicked on her feedback profile and looked at all the other velvetwear she'd purchased!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

OMG GREAT IDEA!

*races off to look*

[ook.livejournal.com]

I'd keep any email note as simple as possible. Don't get cute and over-long. People tend to be VERY stupid these days and this person sounds pretty stupid already since they've mixed up their auctions. I hope you don't get a neg or a neutral from them (a neutral is counted as a neg these days, btw). :/

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I emailed them before I wrote this entry, heh. And they finally replied this morning, and apologized about it and made a comment about needing new glasses, lol!

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

You rock!

I have my fingers crossed for you that the buyer will answer back to your witty email and not leave you a negative feedback.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yes, they've replied, and I'm much relieved--they realized their error. ;)

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

Good news, yay!

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

Sounds more like she'd really open a dispute. When she does, (also when she leaves feedback), the link will say "ebay article 123456 - 2 piece [Crafty Thingy Stuff] blue and red". One may hope she'll notice. Ebay personnel will notice I am sure.

I agree, keep it short. Like "Sorry, you contacted the wrong person, I'm afraid. You did not buy legwarmers from me. I sell craft and you got ebay item 1234 Crafty Thingy two weeks ago. No love, valis." Something like that. Even though I like your response a lot better *g*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

haha! I had already replied to them, and they've just now replied back with embarrassment--they admitted they sent it to the wrong person, thank goodness!

[iamrighthere.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that this is straightened out. A neg feedback threat is frightening.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm so glad it is, as well! (And long time, no see!)

[artystone.livejournal.com]

"crafty thingy stuff" should SO be an ebay category!

[corvus-coronis.livejournal.com]

Some eBuyer must have been on crack when they were shopping..

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Definitely!! I laughed when I read the description. It sounds like part of a Stevie Nicks outfit, honestly.

[wiccarowan.livejournal.com]

My first thought was that if anyone is buying a "velvet beret style hat and legwarmers", they must still think it's 1982 and are therefore clearly delusional.

Is there any way you can contact eBay and express concern that this buyer is mistakenly threatening you with a dispute?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that's a great idea! Fortunately, though, they have already contacted me and realized their mistake. *sighs in relief*

[artystone.livejournal.com]

Velvet. Legwarmers.

Words that should never be uttered together.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It does sound like some sort of Stevie Nicks costuming quirk, doesn't it?

[gmth.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed this person is able to send and receive email, since s/he is clearly stuck in the 80s before the technology became widely available.

Hope you can get it cleared up without a problem. When I become supreme ruler of the universe, I will make it a capital crime for people to be so stupid.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed this person is able to send and receive email, since s/he is clearly stuck in the 80s before the technology became widely available.

She probably spends her days summoning the energy of Stevie Nicks.

When I become supreme ruler of the universe, I will make it a capital crime for people to be so stupid.

ahahah!! *giant hugs*

I hope you'll consider velvet legwarmers in that category as well...

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

you know you have my love, tea, and sympathy.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks!! *giant hugs*

Fortunately, it's all over. They realized the mistake, thank goodness!

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

Oi. Ye gawds.

there, there. ;s

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Crazy, eh? Thank goodness it all worked out in the end!!