X-files: The badfic is out there

[valis2]

• "We've been together a dozen times, Alex, and you never take your shirt off. You don't have anything to be ashamed of Alex, look at me, I'm not ashamed of my little pouch." Mulder half-heartedly patted himself on the tummy.
  
  Who knew Mulder was a marsupial?


• RATING: R FOR SOME VIOLENCE, STRONG LANGUAGE AND A BIT OF A NUZZLE
  
  Ooh! A nuzzle! Why, I nevah! The nerve of some people!


• "Alex." [Skinner] gently said reaching out and carefully skimming his fingers down the battered cheek. This was not the remote touch of a healer treating a patient, this was the gently creases of a lover.


• "Krycek, where..." Mulder was tentatively feeling the laceration on his forehead as he spoke.
  
  [Krycek]: "If you're gonna say 'where am I,' I have to tell you it's a cliche! You are in a motel in Corona, and you've been behaving very strangely for the past 15 hours or so.


• Mulder began to rise from the couch, began to rise everywhere in fact and Alex was further away again, hidden, unearthly.
  
  "No" was husked from the darkness.


• OMG MULDER JUST BRANDED SOMEONE WITH HIS INITIALS


• His left hand still resting on Alex's wonderful firm butts, Mulder opened the window...
  
  No, there are no clones involved, Alex is a single human being.


• WTF? X-files/Terry Pratchett crossover?!


• [Skinner:] "I was married for a hell of a long time... but I've... I've always known that I... er like.." He stopped and coughed as he pushed the words out, "Liked men... I discovered this titbit of information while in Vietnam...


• X-files fic set in WWII.


• He was a powerful man, but a sign of vulnerability had always worked for him in the past, it was a hardy combination for those who had tasted it.


• "Hey... no problem," Jack said, clapping the other man on the shoulder, "I'll lock up the shop and we can talk out the back, I still make syrup coffee."
  
  Syrup coffee? Is there such a thing?


• Mulder watched the dark mahogany haired head move south down his body.


• There's a Darth Maul/Krycek story.


• Sin pulled out her outfit which consisted of a black leather mini skirt and halter-top, a belt that seemed to be a metal leash, a collar and wristbands that matched Alex's, fishnet stockings and spike heels.
  
  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have achieved Mary Sue!

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[sinick.livejournal.com]

mmm, condensed milk. The most yum you can fit into a tin can.