I am home.
Oct. 7th, 2010 07:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valis2I got some distressing news on the way home about someone very dear to my heart. (Not Husband, but still very dear.) The news isn't...dire, but I am a bit fragile at the moment. I'm trying to think good thoughts but I'm really close to that time of the month. I'm sure everything will work out just fine and this will all be an overreaction.
I've had all sorts of awful dreams. (Pre-news.) Dreams about yelling at evil carpeting guy who cut the fringe off my living room rug. Dreams of being a complete failure. One of the mornings I woke early from such a dream and just got out of bed. I was afraid to try to go back to sleep.
I also came home to a bill which could possibly point to Valis Financial Meltdown, in which I finally hit the limits on all of my open credit cards. I have managed to pay off one card, but that momentary happy is definitely far overshadowed by the Limit Monster. Buying the computer was a big part of it, but I can't regret it because of how much faster and easier it's made absolutely everything, and I haven't had the issues that I had with the old one. So. The light at the end of the tunnel is that my car only has a few more payments left, and this is a good set of months for me financially (well, historically), and also I have high hopes for my new website. I mean, not like $924856238956 a minute or anything, but if it could just generate a little extra it would be great.
Also, I am home. For three weeks, which makes me happy. I am happy to be home. I am going to list my little heart out tonight and see if I can't get some good stuff out there for sale.
I'm just trying to find the ground level and get my bearings back. I hate the suspended-in-fear feeling, y'know?
Missed y'all. *hugs*
I've had all sorts of awful dreams. (Pre-news.) Dreams about yelling at evil carpeting guy who cut the fringe off my living room rug. Dreams of being a complete failure. One of the mornings I woke early from such a dream and just got out of bed. I was afraid to try to go back to sleep.
I also came home to a bill which could possibly point to Valis Financial Meltdown, in which I finally hit the limits on all of my open credit cards. I have managed to pay off one card, but that momentary happy is definitely far overshadowed by the Limit Monster. Buying the computer was a big part of it, but I can't regret it because of how much faster and easier it's made absolutely everything, and I haven't had the issues that I had with the old one. So. The light at the end of the tunnel is that my car only has a few more payments left, and this is a good set of months for me financially (well, historically), and also I have high hopes for my new website. I mean, not like $924856238956 a minute or anything, but if it could just generate a little extra it would be great.
Also, I am home. For three weeks, which makes me happy. I am happy to be home. I am going to list my little heart out tonight and see if I can't get some good stuff out there for sale.
I'm just trying to find the ground level and get my bearings back. I hate the suspended-in-fear feeling, y'know?
Missed y'all. *hugs*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-08 10:56 am (UTC)And, oh dear, I, too, hate the feeling of being suspended - I can deal with knowing much better than with not knowing.
*sends milk-chocolate covered macadamia nuts*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-08 07:29 pm (UTC)And the suspension...it's hard to deal with at first, but I'm trying to get past it. Thank you for the sweet words, and the virtual chocolate!