I am lost today
Oct. 9th, 2010 02:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valis2I can't figure out what to do.
I'm getting things done, but they're not things that need to be done right now.
The thought of looking at my to-do list is causing all of the cells in my body to scream no.
I can't even think properly. I'm just sitting here, watching Miami Vice, sorting out merchandise that really doesn't need to be sorted quite yet. I have a show tomorrow, but I don't want to unpack my car and double-check anything or even just look at it.
What I really want to do is write. But I shouldn't, because there are other things to do. I need to email a customer and ship a package. Yet I am not doing that. I'm just wandering around the house every so often, and then coming back and turning on the TV and watching more Vice. And I'm just so lost. I can't even figure out the next priority. I forgot to make a list at the last show, and now I can't imagine what to do next.
Husband's grandmother's 90th birthday is near, and we are celebrating it today at a nearby restaurant. Eventually I'll have to put together an outfit and look presentable and paste a smile on my face and be social. But for right now, I'm just sitting here in my comfy pants, staring at Don Johnson while I sort stuff like a robot.
Maybe that's all my brain is up for right now. I have no idea why.
Actually, I think that the writing is clouding everything else. My brain is just consumed with these words and wants to write them down. And since I'm not, there are sour grapes. "You won't write these words down? FINE! I'm not helping you do anything else, then."
sigh.
I'm getting things done, but they're not things that need to be done right now.
The thought of looking at my to-do list is causing all of the cells in my body to scream no.
I can't even think properly. I'm just sitting here, watching Miami Vice, sorting out merchandise that really doesn't need to be sorted quite yet. I have a show tomorrow, but I don't want to unpack my car and double-check anything or even just look at it.
What I really want to do is write. But I shouldn't, because there are other things to do. I need to email a customer and ship a package. Yet I am not doing that. I'm just wandering around the house every so often, and then coming back and turning on the TV and watching more Vice. And I'm just so lost. I can't even figure out the next priority. I forgot to make a list at the last show, and now I can't imagine what to do next.
Husband's grandmother's 90th birthday is near, and we are celebrating it today at a nearby restaurant. Eventually I'll have to put together an outfit and look presentable and paste a smile on my face and be social. But for right now, I'm just sitting here in my comfy pants, staring at Don Johnson while I sort stuff like a robot.
Maybe that's all my brain is up for right now. I have no idea why.
Actually, I think that the writing is clouding everything else. My brain is just consumed with these words and wants to write them down. And since I'm not, there are sour grapes. "You won't write these words down? FINE! I'm not helping you do anything else, then."
sigh.
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Re: Lost
Date: 2010-10-10 11:01 am (UTC)I have one short story written in a notebook, and it needs some polishing, and I have one story in outline form. And I need to finish the Big H/C Story. I can't wait for you to read the Big H/C Story! I think you're going to love it!
And thank you so much for your sweet words and your hugs! You are so very kind.