I am lost today

[valis2]

I can't figure out what to do.

I'm getting things done, but they're not things that need to be done right now.

The thought of looking at my to-do list is causing all of the cells in my body to scream no.

I can't even think properly. I'm just sitting here, watching Miami Vice, sorting out merchandise that really doesn't need to be sorted quite yet. I have a show tomorrow, but I don't want to unpack my car and double-check anything or even just look at it.

What I really want to do is write. But I shouldn't, because there are other things to do. I need to email a customer and ship a package. Yet I am not doing that. I'm just wandering around the house every so often, and then coming back and turning on the TV and watching more Vice. And I'm just so lost. I can't even figure out the next priority. I forgot to make a list at the last show, and now I can't imagine what to do next.

Husband's grandmother's 90th birthday is near, and we are celebrating it today at a nearby restaurant. Eventually I'll have to put together an outfit and look presentable and paste a smile on my face and be social. But for right now, I'm just sitting here in my comfy pants, staring at Don Johnson while I sort stuff like a robot.

Maybe that's all my brain is up for right now. I have no idea why.

Actually, I think that the writing is clouding everything else. My brain is just consumed with these words and wants to write them down. And since I'm not, there are sour grapes. "You won't write these words down? FINE! I'm not helping you do anything else, then."

sigh.

Comments

[dark-cygnet.livejournal.com]

Perhaps if you wrote a small bit, then did one thing that needs to get done, then write another small bit, etc? I've had days like that myself. ::squishes you::

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Y'know, that's my usual method, but it's just not working. As soon as I look at the page, I get the crawly feeling of "this isn't what I should do."

I need to get through the two things that must be done, I think. After that I think my brain will allow me to relax. At least, I hope so!

*squishes you in return*

[hardboiledbaby]

Gah, how frustrating. Try to get too worked up about it; I'm sure it will sort itself out soon. *hugs*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I really hope so, too. I'm going to concentrate on the two things I absolutely have to do, and then go to the birthday celebration, and then when I come home I'm going to view it as "free time" and do whatever I want. Which will probably end up being more sorting of merchandise, lol. Hopefully, though, there will be a little writing. *nodnod*

[milomaus.livejournal.com]

Duh, that´s just what happened to me yesterday. Except, all I wanted to do was read. In the end I was so frustrated and ill tempered, that I took the little imp for a ride and got sth. totally else done. Left the important stuff until late at night, though.
I hope it worked out better for you! How about dictating the things you wanna write while you do sth totally different?
Get it "on paper" later...
Doing two things at once might be dangerous, though. (I´m imagining you writing the customer an email - about sth. like Nick and Cody could be doing with water...*g*)

My thoughts are with you!

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling so well. *hugs*

Is there any way for you to set aside a little time for writing, just to get the worst pressure of your chest so that you can go back to doing the things that have to get done?

[idleleaves.livejournal.com]

Urgh. I have a lot of those days, lately--where you just sort of wander, then do something like watching TV or fooling around on the internet, then wander more. They always feel so unproductive, and yet I can't convince my brain or body, on those days, to do anything else.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I have a terrible time dictating anything--believe me, it's a great idea, but I just can't do it. My voice sounds strange, and I get caught up in the words and I get very self-conscious and it doesn't flow.

I have the story all outlined and it's just waiting for me to write it! GRAH.

And yes, I can just imagine sending a customer a N/C story instead of their order confirmation. ha! That would be awesome. *grins*

*hugs* Thank you!!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I just couldn't find the time--we got nearer to the birthday party, and I didn't even finish the second task I have to do. I'm going to do it right now, and cross my fingers that I still have brain cells left to write before I go to bed.

Though I might not be able to do that, because then I might stay up all night thinking about it, lol!

*hugs in return*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I hate it when I get this way! I have so many things on my plate--SO many things to do--that my prioritizer just shorts out and can't tell me what to do next. And then I'm just...rudderless in the water. grah! And then, like you say, I feel unproductive but I can't get it together enough to get stuff done.

grah.

I mean, I did get stuff done. Just...not the right stuff. lol.

[milomaus.livejournal.com]

I know the stuff about the voice! I hate our answering machine.

I wanna be the customer to receive a N/C story!

*hugs back* You´re welcome. (For whatever you thanked me for.)

Lost

[penball.livejournal.com]

something is eating you up that's for sure.But eventhough we know that we have things to do, we are not able to get it done sometimes. I think that's a clear sign that we need some time out.
I hope the next week will be better for you and please try not to stress yourself so much...as we all know at the end we get all the things done anyhow!

I wish I could offer you more than these stupid words but unfortunately that's all I have and of course lots of hugs!

Re: Lost

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think I need to take a little time just for me and do some writing! I haven't done enough recently.

I have one short story written in a notebook, and it needs some polishing, and I have one story in outline form. And I need to finish the Big H/C Story. I can't wait for you to read the Big H/C Story! I think you're going to love it!

And thank you so much for your sweet words and your hugs! You are so very kind.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Our answering machine just has a digital voice on it, so I don't have to feel embarrassed. :)

And if I were to receive a N/C story from an eBay seller...I think I'd jump through the roof in excitement! ha!!

*hugs*

[thedoingofit.livejournal.com]

Again: *sending you positive vibes, energizing tea, and hugs*

[artystone.livejournal.com]

The thought of looking at my to-do list is causing all of the cells in my body to scream no.

This pretty much describes grad school so far.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, sweetie. I appreciate it so very much. *hugs*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn. I'm sorry. *hugs* (It also describes nearly every day of my life, though I try not to think about that. haha!)