Snape Dogma 05

[valis2]

While I was driving I had this thought about Snapefic.

Dogma 95 was a set of rules meant to revitalize artistic filmmaking. There were several rules, including using only natural light sources, no filters, no music unless it naturally occurred during filming, hand-held cameras, etc. (About Dogma 95 and Rules of Dogma 95)

I was thinking, wouldn't it be fun to have a set of rules like that for writing Snapefic? You know, post a set of "Vows" and promise to uphold them.

So of course my Snape-obsessed brain would not leave the idea alone and all weekend I kept thinking of vows.



In the interest of preserving a high quality level of Snape fanfiction, I propose this set of Vows for myself.

When writing Snape!fic, I promise:

• ...to keep his physical appearance as close to canon as possible. Greasy hair, thin fingers, yellow skin, yellow/crooked teeth, yeah, yeah, yeah.


• ...to garb him in black robes. Dare I even say billowing black robes? Oh, yes.


• ...to keep talents and weaknesses as verified in canon. Gifted at Occlumency? Check. Legilimens? Check. Talented at potions? Check. Bitter about the Marauders? Check. Suspicious? Check.


• ...to keep his dry wit and dark sarcasm.


• ...to explore the possibilities that canon leaves open for me.


• ...to keep his background plausible.


• ...to keep his control tightly wound, except in moments of true, unrelenting stress relating to his childhood.


• ...to make his relationships with other teachers believable.


• ...to remember how much he wanted that Order of Merlin in PoA.


• ...to incorporate canon truths as much as possible into my fanfiction writing.

When writing Snape!fic, I will not:

• ...make him wear a 'glamour' that disguises his True Beauty because otherwise he'd have to whack the students with sticks to get them away from him.


• ...make him smell like some inordinately sweet and intoxicating scent just so the Love Interest can catch a whiff and swoon.


• ...force him into Muggle clothes.


• ...make him into a vampire or dhampiel. Or even a quarter-vampire. Or an angel. Or a demon.


• ...suddenly give him a son/daughter that enrolls in Hogwarts. (Surprise, dad!)


• ...render him speechless because my OC said something to him that I thought was "witty".


• ...make him a virgin with Astonishing Sexual Powers.


• ...give him dialogue that sounds as if he's swallowed a thesaurus. He speaks well, certainly, but not that well. He uses contractions. Honest.


• ...give him strange Muggle hobbies like playing Brahms lullabies on a harpsichord.


• ...give him telepathic powers or a "life-bond" or a "love-bond" or a "soul-bond" with another.


• ...have a perky OFC 'win him over' with her excessive good cheer or her feisty spunky attitude.


• ...give him a ridiculously angsty background replete with physical abuse and torture.


• ...give him Snape Manor, complete with more trappings and more wealth than even Lucius Malfoy can imagine.


• ...give him a ridiculous family tree. Dumbledore will not be his grandfather. Voldemort will not be his grandfather. He will not be related to Harry Potter. He will not be a special magical Heir to anything.
  
• ...give him any special mysterious magical item that does not fit into the canon world. He will not possess some sort of amazing object that has been passed down through generations from Salazar himself.


• ...make him an expert in martial arts or weapons.


• ...make him fluffy, yearning, and sweet without a Personality-Changing Potion.


• ...have him perform a non-consensual sexual act with an OFC and then later that evening...or ever, actually...have them fall in love.


• ...bring an American OFC to Hogwarts for little reason other than to have her become Snape's One True Love.


• ...make him speak of his shortcomings and weaknesses without Veritaserum, or a prolonged relationship first.


• ...have any elves wandering about Hogwarts except for house-elves. There will be no Elf or Half-elf teacher mysteriously joining the staff.


• ...have an attractive Muggle Studies or DADA teacher who makes Snape's brain melt due to her overwhelming loveliness.


• ...write a storyline where he kills Voldemort.


• ...give him a mysterious power that isn't supported in canon. No fireballs from his fingertips. No telekinesis.


• ...be tempted to turn his private chambers into a Slytherin Love Boudoir complete with giant round rotating bed and disco ball.

Disclaimer: I'm certain that I can't be the first person to have thought of this; I just thought it would be fun.

Even More Important Disclaimer: And yes, I realize that meaningful, moving, and funny Snape!fics can be and have been written, absolutely, disregarding all of these Vows at once. These are just my Vows...disregard them as you wish!

Vows of your own? Comment and share.

Comments

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

Umm. I didn't take that tone at all, and I don't understand where you got that kind of ridiculous exaggeration from my initial comments. While I'm not a massive fan of the character, nothing I said could have reasonably led one to a distorted position such as the one you put forth. But if you want to get off on being a fan of a woefully persecuted character who is constantly misrepresented by those who can't understand him, go right ahead.

I don't think that we can extrapolate different approaches to schoolwork into absolute judgements of intelligence--we have evidence for all three disputed parties in their own rights. Ambitious!Snape may be such out of an inferiority complex (your proposition), or something else--none of us know at the moment.

The full quote is "I think at heart Snape is basically quite an insecure person, he's always longing to be something else that people will really respect like a black magician not just a school master. That's why he envies the more popular and successful boys like Harry." It's not the same as "being somebody" (let me go iron my hands for misremembering), but 'Something else that people will really respect' speaks to this strong desire for recognition--which distinguishes him, IMO.

One thing that all fans can agree upon or not: the story is really all about Harry, certainly not about Sirius, and not about Snape. Is that conciliatory enough for you?

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

Ha! 'woefully persecuted character fans' sure points me of certain groups of bitter fans who stink the a hundred-thousand members mailing list with their neverending 999999th round of crapping on their deeply troubled issues with JKR and the damnest DD/Molly/Snape/Dursley/Kreacher/etc. to stroke their wounded frustrated hearts.

"Attitude toward academic achievement and schoolworks as indications of characters' intelligence" seems to be consistent and reaffirmed with JKR's writings of Hermione as this character who was made a big deal being 'the super genius/intelligent one" in the series. I tried to be consistent in my reading with what she wrote. The exam scenes is certainly one strong example that help confirm my reading. Well the dumbest, stupidest and most ridiculous epic-proportion mistakes in HP canon history is made by one super idol-worthy genius young man whose superior opinion of himself and hypocrisy contributed much to his own demises though. I guess that's one point JKR made regarding super gifted genius. And I was not talking about academic intelligence alone anyway, but also atheletic abilities, natural good looks, wealth and other types of born privilege and gifted etc. In the all-around ground Snape is definitely not exceptional when compare to the celebrated heroes in his contemporaries. As an adult character and what he appear and act is the result of his hardwork and ambitions (along with all that crap I wrote before).

'Something else that people will really respect' speaks to this strong desire for recognition -- something a popular gifted talented privilege like James would have obtained effortlesslly. I see it totally along in line with my reading that Snape is a ambitious Everyman who compensate by hardworking. Recognition and respect would be what he think as Approval. But the insecurities and inferiority inside would never really go away even if he got them, and he's going about the wrong way to get true recognitions anyway.

Unless I'm mistaken, this is a thread devoted only to those who interested/wrote/love (well ideally for those of us) Snape shipfics, so this thread is, I supposed should be, err... ALL ABOUT SNAPE!? Talking about Harry here (who's btw, what the book is all-about~DUH!) would be ironically OT (which I forgot to mention), which I don't mind since it is I who brought it up. Harry is the SPECIAL. He's such a wish-fulfillment character with extraodinary destiny to be a Everyman!chara at all, and I enjoyed him as such.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's anything more to say, as we simply disagree on a character about whom there is so little unambiguous information that almost any point can be undermined with the simple request to support it. It will be nice to reach some points of certainty. The annoyance from all angles should be fascinating.

But since you're familiar with HPfGU, I'll leave you with this thought: for every fan as rabidly anti-Snape as Dzeytoun or Lupinlore, there is another fan as devotedly and categorically pro-Snape, no matter what he may do, as Justcarol.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

I draw some form of interpretation until I'm told otherwise. I like to at least held on some theories or specific views myself to enhance my anticipation of the next book. If they're wrong then (depends) I'll be more delightfully surprise that my guess was off. I find it it's no fun to be those (especially those faux who're secretly rabid and biased) *safe* distance aloof so-called coolly subjective type. Oh yeah those who take these books and CANON too damn seriously and dogmatically are roll-my-eye too (puhlease it's not real, just a damn book), and vice versa thos who held their subversive interpretation with religious indignation.

Yes I'm a long timer at HPFGU (post little) and it's becoming a mass masturbation ground for these un-entertaining, humorless, bitter selfish crowd to release their deep issues and frustrations, for the 999999th times. They never know when to move on. (Oh yeah I guess I'm using this space here to bitch about them too ha! That sure felt good!)

Shame on you for putting Justcarol in league with those two. At least Justcarol is more civil and be more respectful to others, not as rude, whinny, self-repeating and offensive like those anti-Snape (may I add DD and JKR?) people like Lupinlore and more. I like to see less of these people. I never realize how endearing Justcarol is in comparison to them. Now, Mooseming is the type I'd like to see more personally, she's truly having fun with these books and always notice strange patterns and offering giving fresh inspiring views and interpretation, but unfortunately the loud bunch are too indulge in moral meta thread and character!hate to notice what she offered.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I resemble my agnosticism, thank you very much. :)

Justcarol is generally very polite, although fully capable of misunderstandings herself (and her tendency to be a week behind and not read downthread before posting can be exceptionally obnoxious, as it forces repeated retreads).

Where she is comparable to those two is in her ability to explain away absolutely everything about Snape in a completely positive light. For instance, Snape wasn't actually mistaken about the Kappas in PoA--that was JKR screwing up and 'fixing' it in FB, and then blaming it upon Snape, because Snape the DADA expert could never ever get something like that wrong. She makes him into a beatific figure, which is just as much of a distortion as the "OMG SNAPE EVIL" posters. At least if you poke her gently enough, she'll admit that her attraction to "Sev" (her nickname, not mine) is on an emotional level that can't be explained to those who don't get it. Lupinlore is frustrating. He can be rather interesting, and then be a total doctrinare whining asshole.

Mooseming's posts were fun. She hasn't been posting lately, though. The best way to fight the tide of what you don't like is to post things that you do, after all.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

Justcarol at least admit (or at least realized) she's a bit loony like Luna, I'll take that Luna-like Snapeologist anytime than another round of DD bashing from those couple people.

When the time comes, I wished Lupinlore would make a video (and post online) of him dumping the books into dumpster, burning them, that'd be the first and only amusement he ever contributed.

To post on HPFGU now is to step on landmine, landmine keyword like: Dumbledore, JKR, Dursley, Snape, abuse, Molly, mother, Kreacher (or anyone who ever wronged Sirius), SPEW, Hermione, Harry, Prank, bully, racism...

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

True--you can get all the DD bashing you would ever need to read right here on LJ. No need to go off into mailing lists for that. I'd say the list is actually less of a minefield than some places out here...