Snape Dogma 05

[valis2]

While I was driving I had this thought about Snapefic.

Dogma 95 was a set of rules meant to revitalize artistic filmmaking. There were several rules, including using only natural light sources, no filters, no music unless it naturally occurred during filming, hand-held cameras, etc. (About Dogma 95 and Rules of Dogma 95)

I was thinking, wouldn't it be fun to have a set of rules like that for writing Snapefic? You know, post a set of "Vows" and promise to uphold them.

So of course my Snape-obsessed brain would not leave the idea alone and all weekend I kept thinking of vows.



In the interest of preserving a high quality level of Snape fanfiction, I propose this set of Vows for myself.

When writing Snape!fic, I promise:

• ...to keep his physical appearance as close to canon as possible. Greasy hair, thin fingers, yellow skin, yellow/crooked teeth, yeah, yeah, yeah.


• ...to garb him in black robes. Dare I even say billowing black robes? Oh, yes.


• ...to keep talents and weaknesses as verified in canon. Gifted at Occlumency? Check. Legilimens? Check. Talented at potions? Check. Bitter about the Marauders? Check. Suspicious? Check.


• ...to keep his dry wit and dark sarcasm.


• ...to explore the possibilities that canon leaves open for me.


• ...to keep his background plausible.


• ...to keep his control tightly wound, except in moments of true, unrelenting stress relating to his childhood.


• ...to make his relationships with other teachers believable.


• ...to remember how much he wanted that Order of Merlin in PoA.


• ...to incorporate canon truths as much as possible into my fanfiction writing.

When writing Snape!fic, I will not:

• ...make him wear a 'glamour' that disguises his True Beauty because otherwise he'd have to whack the students with sticks to get them away from him.


• ...make him smell like some inordinately sweet and intoxicating scent just so the Love Interest can catch a whiff and swoon.


• ...force him into Muggle clothes.


• ...make him into a vampire or dhampiel. Or even a quarter-vampire. Or an angel. Or a demon.


• ...suddenly give him a son/daughter that enrolls in Hogwarts. (Surprise, dad!)


• ...render him speechless because my OC said something to him that I thought was "witty".


• ...make him a virgin with Astonishing Sexual Powers.


• ...give him dialogue that sounds as if he's swallowed a thesaurus. He speaks well, certainly, but not that well. He uses contractions. Honest.


• ...give him strange Muggle hobbies like playing Brahms lullabies on a harpsichord.


• ...give him telepathic powers or a "life-bond" or a "love-bond" or a "soul-bond" with another.


• ...have a perky OFC 'win him over' with her excessive good cheer or her feisty spunky attitude.


• ...give him a ridiculously angsty background replete with physical abuse and torture.


• ...give him Snape Manor, complete with more trappings and more wealth than even Lucius Malfoy can imagine.


• ...give him a ridiculous family tree. Dumbledore will not be his grandfather. Voldemort will not be his grandfather. He will not be related to Harry Potter. He will not be a special magical Heir to anything.
  
• ...give him any special mysterious magical item that does not fit into the canon world. He will not possess some sort of amazing object that has been passed down through generations from Salazar himself.


• ...make him an expert in martial arts or weapons.


• ...make him fluffy, yearning, and sweet without a Personality-Changing Potion.


• ...have him perform a non-consensual sexual act with an OFC and then later that evening...or ever, actually...have them fall in love.


• ...bring an American OFC to Hogwarts for little reason other than to have her become Snape's One True Love.


• ...make him speak of his shortcomings and weaknesses without Veritaserum, or a prolonged relationship first.


• ...have any elves wandering about Hogwarts except for house-elves. There will be no Elf or Half-elf teacher mysteriously joining the staff.


• ...have an attractive Muggle Studies or DADA teacher who makes Snape's brain melt due to her overwhelming loveliness.


• ...write a storyline where he kills Voldemort.


• ...give him a mysterious power that isn't supported in canon. No fireballs from his fingertips. No telekinesis.


• ...be tempted to turn his private chambers into a Slytherin Love Boudoir complete with giant round rotating bed and disco ball.

Disclaimer: I'm certain that I can't be the first person to have thought of this; I just thought it would be fun.

Even More Important Disclaimer: And yes, I realize that meaningful, moving, and funny Snape!fics can be and have been written, absolutely, disregarding all of these Vows at once. These are just my Vows...disregard them as you wish!

Vows of your own? Comment and share.

Comments

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

As Snape-haters always say: Lupin is only lying about the superb occlument to coax little Harry, because Snape is actually really medicore. Because he needs to use a wand and mutter spells during lessons. Wolfsbane potion is no big deal, Lupin could have handle making it himself but he's too sick, poor Lupin can't get Madam Pomprey to make them for him because she's too busy with students. They also say dark Arts are means for average joes who're talentless, weak and pathetic. Genuinely super-duper and extraordinary stars like James and Sirius despised and hated such low means, they're OMG so noble, so gifted with natural talent and charm.

Desire for Order of Merlin is such an everyman desire. People who are extraordinary super-duper genius with super gifted talent, amazing looks outside and golden noblility inside like Harry and Sirius wouldn't care nor need for such institutional honor.

Really, I think Snape is a hardworking Everyman, he probably unwilling to accept such painful truth that but he is, hence the insecurities and the arrogance. I'm more purplexed by Everyman!Harry.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

That's a little wacked out. I didn't think I suggested that, did I? The text *does* suggest strongly, though, that James and Sirius were really quite sharp--we don't have to play a zero-sum game, do we? It gets old very quickly.

I don't think Snape is an Everyman; he's certainly not presented as one, but rather as a character exceptional in a number of ways both positive and negative. Positively, the most straightforward reading of canon is that he has unique skillz and tasks and abilities. Negatively, he's the only teacher presented as exercising such focused ill-intent upon the student body. Nor do I think he really wants to be one. It's totally non-canon, but there were some interesting remarks made by Alan Rickman about the character which have the possible air of having been told him by Rowling, along the lines of Snape really wanting to be Somebody. That rather fits with the desire for said Order.

Harry has a number of markers of the Everyman combined with the markers of the exceptional, but I think he has much more of the wanting to be one than Snape, and what a character wants makes a lot of difference in this world.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

I see my response fitting to match your tone in your original response.

And I like to take the opportunity to mock the rabid Snape-haters who love to insist Snape is nothing else but mediocre in everyway (and dear suffering Lupin was only forced to lie and exaggerate for the greater good *weep*), a rather loud popular view these people love to shed to argue people who *gasp* dare to suggest Snape could be brilliant or special in any way.

I see Snape as an ordinary man who compensate by hard working and ambition. Part of his immaturity is his inablity to content with his ordinariness. His smugness, insecurities, cannot stand being challenged, tactics of inducing fear for respect, jealousy and arrogance doesn't suggest a man who always knew and sure about his brilliance. He knew he's not. But he damn sure want to get that. The text further confirm my view in the pensieve scene when it showed the students' different approaches to exams. The *super-duper extraordinary* (use your own term) James and Sirius nailed their exams with ease and rudely bluff off Lupin for taking these rubbish seriously. In contrast Snape wrote long answers (in vivid details how small and cramp the words), and his unwillingness to let go of the exam answers and totally indulged in them afterward. It seems to me that Snape took these 'rubbish' seriously, so I see the contrast and clashing between "naturally-gifted-but-don't-bother" and "ordinary-but-hardworking" (even consider means of dangerous power)" (the former deems the later pathetic and inferior, the later is bitterly envious of the former).

Ron is presented more as your idea of Everyman!Everyman, Snape is presented as the hard-working ambitious Everyman who never grew content with his limitation hence his immaturities and bitterness. What we know right now, between them, Snape is the one who survive and kept on fighting (or whatever his real agenda is), not James and Sirius.
(unless of course as the Sirius fans who speculate his 'passing onto another dimension" is a grand setup for a "IT's-all-about-SIRIUS" arc involving the reincarnated/time-travel Sirius saving the world and being the real hero *chuckle*)

I never read about "Snape really wanting to be Somebody", I did read Alan Rickman mentioning JKR never discuss Snape's motivation and reason with him, only certain aspect of the past (a . From his own view, Alan Rickman guess on his own that "Snape don't want to be just a school master, he really wanted to be a dark magician."

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

Umm. I didn't take that tone at all, and I don't understand where you got that kind of ridiculous exaggeration from my initial comments. While I'm not a massive fan of the character, nothing I said could have reasonably led one to a distorted position such as the one you put forth. But if you want to get off on being a fan of a woefully persecuted character who is constantly misrepresented by those who can't understand him, go right ahead.

I don't think that we can extrapolate different approaches to schoolwork into absolute judgements of intelligence--we have evidence for all three disputed parties in their own rights. Ambitious!Snape may be such out of an inferiority complex (your proposition), or something else--none of us know at the moment.

The full quote is "I think at heart Snape is basically quite an insecure person, he's always longing to be something else that people will really respect like a black magician not just a school master. That's why he envies the more popular and successful boys like Harry." It's not the same as "being somebody" (let me go iron my hands for misremembering), but 'Something else that people will really respect' speaks to this strong desire for recognition--which distinguishes him, IMO.

One thing that all fans can agree upon or not: the story is really all about Harry, certainly not about Sirius, and not about Snape. Is that conciliatory enough for you?

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

Ha! 'woefully persecuted character fans' sure points me of certain groups of bitter fans who stink the a hundred-thousand members mailing list with their neverending 999999th round of crapping on their deeply troubled issues with JKR and the damnest DD/Molly/Snape/Dursley/Kreacher/etc. to stroke their wounded frustrated hearts.

"Attitude toward academic achievement and schoolworks as indications of characters' intelligence" seems to be consistent and reaffirmed with JKR's writings of Hermione as this character who was made a big deal being 'the super genius/intelligent one" in the series. I tried to be consistent in my reading with what she wrote. The exam scenes is certainly one strong example that help confirm my reading. Well the dumbest, stupidest and most ridiculous epic-proportion mistakes in HP canon history is made by one super idol-worthy genius young man whose superior opinion of himself and hypocrisy contributed much to his own demises though. I guess that's one point JKR made regarding super gifted genius. And I was not talking about academic intelligence alone anyway, but also atheletic abilities, natural good looks, wealth and other types of born privilege and gifted etc. In the all-around ground Snape is definitely not exceptional when compare to the celebrated heroes in his contemporaries. As an adult character and what he appear and act is the result of his hardwork and ambitions (along with all that crap I wrote before).

'Something else that people will really respect' speaks to this strong desire for recognition -- something a popular gifted talented privilege like James would have obtained effortlesslly. I see it totally along in line with my reading that Snape is a ambitious Everyman who compensate by hardworking. Recognition and respect would be what he think as Approval. But the insecurities and inferiority inside would never really go away even if he got them, and he's going about the wrong way to get true recognitions anyway.

Unless I'm mistaken, this is a thread devoted only to those who interested/wrote/love (well ideally for those of us) Snape shipfics, so this thread is, I supposed should be, err... ALL ABOUT SNAPE!? Talking about Harry here (who's btw, what the book is all-about~DUH!) would be ironically OT (which I forgot to mention), which I don't mind since it is I who brought it up. Harry is the SPECIAL. He's such a wish-fulfillment character with extraodinary destiny to be a Everyman!chara at all, and I enjoyed him as such.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's anything more to say, as we simply disagree on a character about whom there is so little unambiguous information that almost any point can be undermined with the simple request to support it. It will be nice to reach some points of certainty. The annoyance from all angles should be fascinating.

But since you're familiar with HPfGU, I'll leave you with this thought: for every fan as rabidly anti-Snape as Dzeytoun or Lupinlore, there is another fan as devotedly and categorically pro-Snape, no matter what he may do, as Justcarol.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

I draw some form of interpretation until I'm told otherwise. I like to at least held on some theories or specific views myself to enhance my anticipation of the next book. If they're wrong then (depends) I'll be more delightfully surprise that my guess was off. I find it it's no fun to be those (especially those faux who're secretly rabid and biased) *safe* distance aloof so-called coolly subjective type. Oh yeah those who take these books and CANON too damn seriously and dogmatically are roll-my-eye too (puhlease it's not real, just a damn book), and vice versa thos who held their subversive interpretation with religious indignation.

Yes I'm a long timer at HPFGU (post little) and it's becoming a mass masturbation ground for these un-entertaining, humorless, bitter selfish crowd to release their deep issues and frustrations, for the 999999th times. They never know when to move on. (Oh yeah I guess I'm using this space here to bitch about them too ha! That sure felt good!)

Shame on you for putting Justcarol in league with those two. At least Justcarol is more civil and be more respectful to others, not as rude, whinny, self-repeating and offensive like those anti-Snape (may I add DD and JKR?) people like Lupinlore and more. I like to see less of these people. I never realize how endearing Justcarol is in comparison to them. Now, Mooseming is the type I'd like to see more personally, she's truly having fun with these books and always notice strange patterns and offering giving fresh inspiring views and interpretation, but unfortunately the loud bunch are too indulge in moral meta thread and character!hate to notice what she offered.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I resemble my agnosticism, thank you very much. :)

Justcarol is generally very polite, although fully capable of misunderstandings herself (and her tendency to be a week behind and not read downthread before posting can be exceptionally obnoxious, as it forces repeated retreads).

Where she is comparable to those two is in her ability to explain away absolutely everything about Snape in a completely positive light. For instance, Snape wasn't actually mistaken about the Kappas in PoA--that was JKR screwing up and 'fixing' it in FB, and then blaming it upon Snape, because Snape the DADA expert could never ever get something like that wrong. She makes him into a beatific figure, which is just as much of a distortion as the "OMG SNAPE EVIL" posters. At least if you poke her gently enough, she'll admit that her attraction to "Sev" (her nickname, not mine) is on an emotional level that can't be explained to those who don't get it. Lupinlore is frustrating. He can be rather interesting, and then be a total doctrinare whining asshole.

Mooseming's posts were fun. She hasn't been posting lately, though. The best way to fight the tide of what you don't like is to post things that you do, after all.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[jillojillo.livejournal.com]

Justcarol at least admit (or at least realized) she's a bit loony like Luna, I'll take that Luna-like Snapeologist anytime than another round of DD bashing from those couple people.

When the time comes, I wished Lupinlore would make a video (and post online) of him dumping the books into dumpster, burning them, that'd be the first and only amusement he ever contributed.

To post on HPFGU now is to step on landmine, landmine keyword like: Dumbledore, JKR, Dursley, Snape, abuse, Molly, mother, Kreacher (or anyone who ever wronged Sirius), SPEW, Hermione, Harry, Prank, bully, racism...

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

True--you can get all the DD bashing you would ever need to read right here on LJ. No need to go off into mailing lists for that. I'd say the list is actually less of a minefield than some places out here...

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

To go off on a tangent:

I remmebr some time back someone remarked on how very ordinary Snape is, and I agreed- Snape is the guy working on his car down the street, who has the half paid off moprtgage and the weird assed, totally non glamourous job. Because of this, he has some strange, off the cuff stories to tell you about the Hell that is his workplace and his life. You want him over for beer and pizza ( or Firewhiskey and rock cakes, or whatever!)

Lupin and Sirius, on the other hand, strike me as being deeply, utterly boring. They had adventures in school, and were so utterly cool, after which they failed to live up to their potential. No art, no books, no writing, no organic farming: Lupin and Sirius are frelling failures. One disguises his lack of personality and engagement with the world with false manners; one cannot comprehend that world will go one without him and suirvive just fine. Poor Harry- these are his male role models!

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I'm honestly not being bitchy here (honestly!) but I just don't understand the derivation of Snape being a totally fascinating guy who tells great stories, and Lupin (as Black's dead and thus his story is finished) being completely boring. We don't exactly know that Snape is into art, books, writing or organic farming *either*. There's a corresponding gap in the actual text for both characters as to personal likes and dislikes, great elaborations of personality, etc.

I've read accounts from people who find everything about Lupin to be utterly fascinating and amazingly complex in all areas (try copperbadge for the Lupin Love), and I don't understand where that comes from either. Is it just a point of personal preference, but one that's not text-anchored and thus incommensurate? From their actual actions in the text both Lupin and Snape are pretty 2-D (Lupin is pleasant and quiet, Snape makes nasty comments and is unfair to Gryffindors, repeat ad nauseam), but become more 3-D from what is implied could possibly have happened/be going on, and some of the things that are hard to fit together, the mistakes made, etc.

I think I'm being far too text-based and less speculative and imaginative here, so I think I'll bow out.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

Actually I am being only text based here: No fanonish stuff.

People who whine about their fate (Lupin and Sirius) are inherently boring to me. Makes me say "So what"? And sorry, people who offer tea, and then apologise for it beingin a teabag deserve a pop around the head.

Having been a VISTA teacher, on teh other hand, makes me appreciate the craziness of students, teachers and how they interact.

I don't think Snape is into art, kulcher or whatevber. But tangent was about the fact that othr than being being part of Harry's father's past, and then having screwed up, boring lives, Remus and Sirius are Teh Sux.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I missed the part where Lupin was whining about his fate, unless you automatically want to consider a fairly stoic and inexpressive pose about some genuinely shitty knocks to be 'whining'. (Sirius does complain, but I think he's also suffered more overt injustice than almost anyone else in the series, unless you want to compare some genuinely asshole schooldays bullying to a stay in Azkaban with the physical/mental incarnations of clinical depression.) Is Snape's lament of "Have you forgotten, Headmaster..." then whining, or a justified complaint? Without an understanding of "My memory is as good...", it's really hard to tell. Heh.

I don't really understand Lupin, though, as we have this big hole in his past and missing information for some important points in his life. He has some definite potential for future engagement if she feels like using him, and he's one of our few glimpses into a particular past (as an Order member, for one) that's left to us. If one were inclined to make massive projections into his missing 12-something years, it might well be more interesting or less interesting than Snape's tenure at Hogwarts. But you can't say that you're basing any of that on the text, because there ain't any for it.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

unless you want to compare some genuinely asshole schooldays bullying to a stay in Azkaban with the physical/mental incarnations of clinical depression.)

The argument then would be that since Sirius was capable of murdering a fellow student, and since it was covered up, that Sirius got what he deserved, just as Snape's bullying was surely deserved because hey, he said Mudblood and was a greasy nerd.

Is Snape's lament of "Have you forgotten, Headmaster..." then whining, or a justified complaint?

One wonders. Snape has not forgotten, and being forced to make medcine for a someone who is seen as nothing more than a favored bully could be seen as a justified complaint.

That's in the text.

But the thing is, all of these adults are simply incapable of forgiveness, or acknowldeging any shame or humilty at all. Not Remus, who is ready to point out jealousy, noty Sirius who was ready to put out how cool he was while being a favored bully, and certainly not Snape, who resents not having his pain acknowledged by seeminlgy anyone who cares.

Re: Broken rules- or are they?

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

I think there's a very different model of causality being discussed in your first two examples. Sirius going to Azkaban as punishment for the so-called Prank (which we still need information on) is an invocation of a karma model wherein bad actions will haunt you later. What I dislike about the invocation of it is that it offers punishment as a disconnect from actions; you might as well say that Snape deserves everything he suffers for having been a DE at one time. Snape being bullied for saying "Mudblood" is not something that he deserves but it is causally tracable as being escalated precisely because of his actions. Again, a situation where I suspect we see not all.